The Social Justice Warrior Handbook': What to do when someone assumes your gender and more hilarity

Conservative writer Lisa De Pasquale penned "The Social Justice Warrior Handbook," a tongue-in-cheek manifesto that gives tips to millennials to "stay woke," and its blistering satire could easily rival that of The Onion.

The book reads quite seriously, but at its root is a simple parody of the hyper-offended, triggered society in which we live.

Who is Lisa De Pasquale?

Conservative firebrand De Pasquale's resume includes having been director of the Conservative Political Action Conference from 2006 to 2011.

Her writing can be found at sites like The Federalist, Townhall, and Breitbart. De Pasquale has also been a familiar face on Fox News over the years.

De Pasquale's first book, "Finding Mr. Righteous" (2014), detailed parallels between her love life and her walk with God, all while navigating the dating world to find a good, conservative man.

What are some 'tips' from the book?

Tips from the book's description read:

• What to do when someone assumes your gender
• How to infiltrate a right-wing event
• How to fake authentic vintage style
• How to survive a holiday meal that doesn’t follow your food philosophy
• What you need in your SJW bug-out bag
• How to do an epic takedown of someone more successful than you

One chapter is titled, "What To Do When Someone Assumes Your Gender," while another chapter explains tactics of "How to Do an Epic Takedown of Tucker Carlson." Yet another section's title boasts tips on "How to Connect Any Issue to Donald Trump." Other chapters include how to stop gendered fetus baby showers.

The kicker is the end of the book, where De Pasquale brings the satire full-circle, dedicating several pages to social justice warrior entitlements.

Spoiler: the pages, which were intended to detail SJW entitlements, are all blank.

They're blank.

What has De Pasquale said about the book?

De Pasquale, in an interview with PJ Media, stuck to script and answered all of the interviewer's questions in parody character.

"Despite having the mainstream media, the entertainment industry and a political party on the side of SJWs, 'The Social Justice Warrior Handbook' is an important tool in helping SJWs discover and profit from their victimhood in new and unique ways," De Pasquale joked about her aim for the book.

"My only hope is that this book doesn’t fall into the hands of the wrong people. That could destroy the SJW movement," she said.

De Pasquale also mocked safe spaces in colleges and universities, and said that "an important tenet of being an SJW is having our feelings and beliefs reinforced so we don’t have to face reality or be intellectually challenged."

"Obviously, college campuses are where safe spaces are needed the most, though administrators make it easier by banning conservative and libertarian speakers and suspending professors who present alternative views," she quipped.

What are De Pasquale's real thoughts on feminism?

De Pasquale's appearance at the University of California, Berkeley's Free Speech Week to celebrate "Feminism Awareness Day" was canceled, but she shared her prepared remarks with Medium.

A portion of the conservative firebrand's speech read:

Feminism, whether you call it third-wave or radical or modern, is a thief. It takes from you until you’re empty. Trust me, I’m a single, childless 40-year-old.

Feminism steals your identity.

Remember the infamous hot mic moment between Billy Bush and then-candidate Donald Trump? Democrats, pundits, and journalists pretended to be outraged by his language. Then a few months later, many of them donned p**sy hats with glee and delighted in dressing as female body parts. They were back to their old selves. Feminism doesn’t want women to believe they are anything more than body parts. They tell them so-called “women’s issues” are limited to abortion, birth control and body image. When they limit the issues involving our body parts, they rob women from the opportunity to learn about other issues and be able to speak about them with confidence. Feminists want women to react based on emotions, not facts. Current feminists are using the same arguments people made against the suffragette movement.

In another section of her speech, De Pasquale noted how feminism also steals your heart.

Feminists say that traditional dating, like allowing a man to plan a date, pay for the date, or hold the door open are tools of the patriarchy.

Women-targeted media — books, magazines, websites, movies, and TV shows — delight in the overused cliché of women having no-strings-attached relationships and as Sex and the City put it, “having sex like a man.” Then the perfect feminist show came along — Girls on HBO. But instead of glamorizing the millennial feminist mindset something amazing happened —  it showed that the characters’ awful behavior doesn’t lead to happy, fulfilling relationships. They were all miserable.

Her speech continued and added that feminism also steals your power and your independence.

DePasquale concluded her speech with a warning.

Feminists call many of the women who were invited to speak during Free Speech Week traitors. But it’s the feminists who are traitors to women because they are erasing the decades of progress women have achieved. Feminists now focus on insultingly immature and shallow issues like safe spaces, redefining what it means to be a woman, tearing down men, and limiting women’s choices.